By fire be bored!

For those who didn't get the reffrence in the title, blizzard have released patch 4.2 for online sensation known simply as World Of Warcraft. So i spent the whole day observing the new raid, however the people that were playing weren't... Smart, that combined with a bug caused a long period of constantly being killed by the same group of monsters over and over. Right outside a bosses lair to rub salt in the wound, eventually they left and ran into another boss... Which insidently slaughtered them rather in 60 seconds flat. So long story short i spent the day watching virtual people kill virtual fire things and vise versa, admitidly i didn't get the full experiance but i'm bored to hell (though not as bored as i was watching I Spit On Your Grave which lasted like a 10th of the time)
     

Cybernetic Organism Vs Misleading Martial Artist

Today i finally got around to watching the modern remake of The Karate Kid, though they go out of their way to make a point out of it being kung fu not karate so i'm just going to call it misleading martial artist... Child... But yeah i was one of the ones who was a bit sceptical about it to begin, as i am with all remakes of beloved childhood movies, however it turned out to not only be a very good film, but actually surpass its predecessor despite not having any wax on wax off, i know the coat thing was a lot smarter but its not as memorable a quote is, it in all honesty. Anyway was great movie and i love Jackie Chan.
       On another note i also watched The Terminator 2 today as well don't need to comment on that amazing movie. After watching both in a short period of time i began to imagine how the fight would be different if Jackie Chan was fighting a Terminator, then began to imagine a crossover comic between Karate Kid and The Terminator. I mean theres already Terminators fighting Superman and Judge Dread and prob others in comics, would love to see Arnold just bust in the middle of the tournament to kick some ass. Image Comics i'm counting on you to make something so ludicrous get to it! 

"PC" Parents, Boring Graves and Advert Skits

You know TV is doing something wrong when the adverts are becoming more original and funnier than the shows they seperate... I don't have a TV lisence at my house, but when i come to visit my parents without the comfort of my computer i'm exposed to non-sensical dribble of modern day television. Inevitably i end up just watching Top Gear, Family Guy, Mock The Week, QI + South Park repeats... Or at this moment in time listening to Depeche Mode's Just Can't Get Enough on MTV Classic. Anyway as i said before Game Of Thrones was the best thing on le TV but now that's ended the best things are the adverts... Well some of them most are still stupid and have no relation to the product, don't get me started on deodorant / purfume adverts, but ever since Compare The Merkat there has been a steady increase of amusing ones. I think they should create a skit show of funny adverts just like a seires of shorts. Imagine Saturday Night Live the commercial edition shit would be awesome.
    On the note of terrible TV an advert for Geordie Shore came on... I feel like puking but now Thin Lizzy is playing, praise the lord for the boys are truly back in town! But yeah transitioning from terrible TV to terrible films now. I havn't seen the original, and don't incline to soon as my parents said this remake is better, so i can't comment on that though remakes usualy fuck up so i may give original a chance some point. Oh i'm talking about I Spit On Your Grave by the way, got a bit carried away. But yeah today... Watching that film... I discovered the true meaning of boredom... The ending when she finally got to the killing was funny i admit they were better deaths than Saw or Final Destination or any of that shit. But the i don't even know how long it was leading up to it just drrrrraaaaaaggggggeeeeedddddd oooonnnnnnnn and oooonnnn and oonn and... and... an... zzzzz... Sorry yeah nothing intresting happened at all. At the begining they set up the rape scene but nothing happened was just filming her., then they got to the house and set it up, but she ran away, then she runs into the sherrif and they go back to the cabin and then it happens, then she walks away and it happens again, then she walks away again and they try to kill her but she falls in the river, then they try to look for her, and then they watch tv, and talk, and they set up revenge but nothing happens so they look for her again, then they set up revenge again and nothing happens, and then a thrid time nothing happens, then stuff acctualy does hurray but even then its filled with padding, its almost impresive to pad out killing somebody, i means theres building up suspence then theres... I don't even know what this is... And all the characters are boring as fuck and just repeat the same shit over and over kind of like what you're reading right now.
     Yeah i'm going to stop now am putting myself to sleep you get the idea. Time to perk people who havn't died of boredom, or just closed the page up with the essecne of social hypocrisie in the form of a conversation i had with my dad. Oh those of you offended by holocaust jokes, you may hate us, especialy if you're also an animal lover just a heads up. This occured while we was watching a family video of our holiday at disney land, and my dad is a social worker just to put the ironic icing on the cake. We was casualy talking about how we used to own, some form of fish i dunno which a violent one though, and said fish bit my mum while she was feeding them or cleaning the tank or something. Which is, as i'm sure you'll agree, quite a rude thing to do. So my dad gave it to my aunt whose house he described as "The Auschwitz for animals" to which i replyed "Thats tottaly PC... But yeah she is the hitler of the animal kingdom." Isn't my family so quirky i'll leave you on that happy note. Goodnight

In brightest day, In blackest night.

Yesterday i watched the cinematic adventures of Hal Jordan or more commonly known as the Green Lantern! It was much better than i thought it was going to be to be honest, the adverts really undersold it i didn't expect to be better than X-Men: first class which also surpassed my expectations. Maybe i'm just used to super hero movies not being that good, but this year, considering the amount their pumping out, i have enjoyed all of them hopefully Captain America will keep up the trend. Although none of them have a torch to Batman Begins / The Dark Knight speaking of which i can't fucking wait untill next year...
        Yeah i've gone on a tangent there a bit ahem, where was i? Right Green Lantern was great the character was portrayed well, the villians were awesome, for the first movie (am pretty sure theres going to be a sequel with sinestro corps) they were big villians, like the end of the world stuff, most hero movies don't tred there and i really liked it. Also Hector's transition to becoming evil and corrupted was well played out (oh and i'm probably the only one who noticed this but he played starcraft 2 that was awesome) the romance wasn't stupidly sloppy, was a very beliveable relationship, the special effects were awesome along with the action sequences, there was Hal Jordans cockyness and humour spread throughout. Yeah it was all good. The thing i love about his concept is that you can do anything, and have really intresting ways to deal with situations exploiting that fact, which is why hes such a fascinating super hero. This movie didn't spare any expence on that factor creating swords, miniguns, airplanes, catapults, AA turrets and even a giant hot wheels set to drive a crashing helecopter to safty... However this fact can also be his stories downfall and can create a lot of plot holes. Is hard to find real obsticles when can create anything but the movie didn't subcum to such weight fortunatly.
        However that isn't the only movie that exists, this morn i also watched Green Lantern Emerald Knights which isn't really what i expected, it set up an appocolypse story but didn't do anything until the end. It is actualy a bunch of flashbacks telling mini stories of other green lantern members at one point theres a flashback within a flashback... must resist urge to make an inception joke... while they are quite good stories by themselves i was left disapointed, don't think it should have been a movie of just that. Also at the end it teases you with Hal Jordans story (yeah he doesn't have a flashback for himself he just provides exposition is bullshit) he says "I'll tell you the story about when i fended off an army of manhunters with a squirrel as my only backup" I want to fucking watch that story that sounds amazing. The "gripping" conclusion is really stupid, and you remember the point i made before about being able to create anything and how it could create plot holes? This is why. They defeat Krona by half destroying Oa... You know the planet of the guardians and headquarters of the green lantern corps... Yeah they smash it into Krona to push him into a sun. This is every single lantern i'm sure combined they could create planet constructs to use instead of using YOU'RE HOME PLANET! And they don't even seem phased at all at this loss, they just laugh and just go "meh, we'll fix it". Anyway conclusion watch Green Lantern at cinema but avoid Emerald Knights, now i'm going to read rebirth.

A Teeters always repays he debts.

The amazing Game Of Thrones has come to a halt in an amazing finale. Ending it on not one, but three cliffhangers! Leaving questions un answered, battles un fought, ends un tied and a burning craving for more, this combination has left my life devoid of meaning untill next year when season 2 is aired and it is going to be the longest wait in the universe. For those of you who havn't seen it you have no idea how much you're missing out it is the most emotion filled and fantastic show i have ever seen, its also the first that has generally made me despressed to see characters i came to love die. Everybody should fucking watch it right now... put down everything you're doing and go watch immediately by order of Eddard Stark, Lord of Winterfell!

The snap reward...

Just started this thing and on post number 3 i'm like some bloging machine... Anyway this is an amusing story about a game of snap and poker (doesn't that sound like the begining of an awesome joke). My housemate just phoned me to ask me for my advice on a prediciment he was in with his girlfreind, however before this should tell you about what we did a couple of weeks ago will make more sense.
        While we were out shoping for food Lawrence (said housemate) thought that he need to spruse up his bedroom, so we spontaniously decided to go to Debenhams to try and find some pictures to put up (in the end we went to HMV and got posters because were not sophistacted enough.) While we were in there he thought that would look for a dress to buy Issi, (said girlfreind) it ended up in asking what kind of dress i would wear if i was a woman just to reinforce the thoughts that were a gay couple.
        With that thrown out there i'm sure you all wanted to know i'll continue with his story. He was making bets with Issi on the outcome of different card game. First he won a game of poker but was stupid and only bet to get a back rub, then they progressed on to snap because thats obviously the natural transition duh, Issi vanquished him in this noble game of kings and was to recive a dress fit for such an heroic victory! So they went on the interwebs to search for dresses, after a while of looking they used a lifeline to narrow it down to a 50/50 option but they still couldn't decide so phoned a freind, namly me.
       Also it was Issi's idea to ask me not Lawrences... I'm not sure what that says about me but there you go. this also took place at 2AM. I dare you to have a more random plea for help at that time, that doesn't involve the police, alcohol or any kind of drug

I'm here to write a blog and chew gum... And i'm all outta gum!

This Post may contain significant amounts of swearing those with a weak heart and don't wish to continue reading should be DP'ed by pig cops

      Duke Motherfuking Nukem! Holy shit what the fuck can you say about this bastard. He's the pure essence of testosterone given a virtual incarnation as the most badass and most infamous video game character ever. I mean shit just writing about the fucker gives me cocksucking tourettes.
      I won't deny that Forever has its faults, i mean there is numerous bugs, the driving sections are made of ass, the underwater level can suck my dick, the graphics are dated, theres uncle loving valve puzzle that shouldn't be there, theres... yeah you get the idea technicly speaking its fucked up... However i like to compare it to the live action transformer movies there both technicly pretty damn bad but there both stupid and over the top and by god are they fun!
      Despite all of its flaws i would rather play it than any other F/TPS' at the moment it may not be as good as say COD but balls to it! Duke has something that all others don't it is just fun to play i havn't had as much fun in a single player F/TPS game in years. It has charm, it is funny it has solid gameplay when its not forcing you to drive or swim or do a puzzle. But it captures an old feeling that modern games have lost vison of in the name of "making it realistic". remember Doom? We didn't need good graphics or a cover system or vheicles or any of that modern crap hell we didn't even need a crosshair, yet it is one of my favourite games not because it is technicly amazing, just because its fun. Its sad that most people just think its a let down but i mean come on was you really expecting a masterpeice of a game from this? Duke 3D wasn't the most amazing in all fairness. Whatever you say about it you can't deny that it is Duke Nukem through and through and thats what matters, just chill out and have fun people jesus.

Teeters out, and remember... Always bet on Duke!

Of top hats and garlic in wonderland.

A man of my stature will resort to crazy things when he is deprived of his most anticipated gaming experiance due to it being bugged thus preventing any progression. Its the ultimate cock tease giving you an hour of gameplay showing off its beauty then taking it away. Its like when your sibling gets the greatest christmas present in the world and you get a peice of string, you can admire it and they may let you have a go for a while, but inevitably they snatch it back leaving you with the string and having to find other means of entertainment. 
      In my case other means of entertainment is drinking Dr. Pepper, listening to The Pretty Reckless and re-initiating my blogging experiance by ranting about Alice: Madness Returns not working. I'm not really sure why i decided to start blogging again to be honest, it may be partily due to reading a couple of freinds blogs, or that i've a rather good week and feel like i've learnt something and wish to write it down so it will be set in stone. It may teach virtual archaeologists in the year 2525 about our culture while they steal golden youtube icons and run away from meme boulders it'll be like a tron indiana jones. As an almost 19 year old male who spends most of his time playing video games, watching movies, listening to the YoGPoD or reading comic books i don't claim to be the most wise person in the world so if you think i'm full of shit feel free to disregard my advice, i will never threaten to stab you.
      Anyway i think i'm starting to digress i'll get to the point. From last saturday to yesterday saturday a few of my freinds stayed round it was one of the funniest weeks i've had in a very long time we did nothing except watch movies eat pizza and garlic bread and just make jokes and talk for the most part. A whole week of that sounds rather boring on paper, nothing intresting happened really but through it, and this may sound really pretentious but whatever, i think i found the true meaning of freindship. If i wasn't with those people it would have been boring, well i would have probably been in my room playing a lot more games but, you don't need anything intresting or extra ordinary or to be drunk or to travel anywhere to have a great time when you're with freinds i guess thats the point so long as you're with them. As a great band once sang "I've got some freinds, some that i hardly know, but we've had some times, i wouldn't trade for the world" 


Farewell, Teeters
Oh P.S. Happy Fathers day ^^