Bonjour! Omelette du fromage? Foux du fafa? *Wilhelm Scream* Urgh what happened there... Yeah i'm not gonna do that retarded introduction cliché again. I feel dirty... But anyway i've been on holiday to le Disneyland in parí for 3 days.
Day 0
Yeah imma formatting this like a diary fuck you. So dear Mickey Mouse on the saturday waking up at 5AM fucking sucks. However the trip wasn't that bad, though the coach drivers have no understanding of how to use a dvd player. I saw the beginning of "Water Horse" like 5 times. Also we had to change coaches on to a bigger one but the stoopid driver didn't mention that to us, so we was all just sat there with everyone else unpacking like... "Guys, are... Are we getting off?" it was amusing. Oh and then i pissed everybody off cus when we changed coaches was in a hurry when figured it out everyone else was already un-packed, so in our haste i forgot to pick up my little brothers coat and left it on the other coach. Luckily he noticed this... When our new coach starts to depart... So i had to go downstairs and get them to stop so i could run to the other one and get it so sulked on saying sorry with everyone giving me the evils. Good times. The coach had an immense playlist though, normally the music choice on coaches is rubbish but this didn't have a single bad song. In fact all in a row it played "The Power of Love", "Ghostbusters", "Maniac", the song from beverly hills cop (i don't know the name, i know be disappointed in me) and then "Highway to the Danger Zone". Twas jizz worthy, later it also played "Oh Yeah" (le ferris buller / duffman theme song), "Eye of the Tiger" and one of my favourite songs because i should have been born in the 80's father fucking "Footloose"! Anyway then we got to the ferry so i naturally shouted i'm the king of the world with my arms out watching the sun set on the ocean. Was rather beautiful, oh and there was also a group of these people who just sat down "playing" an acoustic guitar. I use the term "playing" very very loosely, as they just strummed (in no real rhythm) random chords. But yeah that was the trip leaving britain. Then upon arrival everything was chaotic and disorganised so it took forever to get they key cards to the rooms and then they didn't work for one of our rooms... So yeah good start!
Day 1
That was a lot of writing for a trip... Meh anyway the first day! So first we went to space mountain which my little brother couldn't go on cus he wasn't tall enough but then in the other park he could go on a faster roller coaster with more loops... Wut. Then we went on a carousel which i picked the small pony with pink ribbons to ride on making Pinkie Pie quotes... Anyway then we went to the Alice in Wonderland maze thing in which i was just being really giddy, then the people who dress up as characters were outside as Alice who was like in her 30's... Any-who yeah we then went to le Indiana Jones (Temple du Peril in french) ride and in front of us the queue who dressed like one of the nazi's in a long black coat with shirt on. He was taking pictures of all the Indie props along the way. But he was also just slamming his fist into his palm over and over for no real reason, it was a little intimidating. Also french people make me shit myself. There was this kid in a wheelchair who was perfectly still who i naturally assumed was handicapped. Then as the wheelchair got close to me the fucker lept out of it then casually started walking normally. I got some huge fucking air.
Day 2
Not a lot interesting happened second day to be honest we went on roller coaster that my brother couldn't go on that i mentioned before. We also went on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. I loved the aesthetic's and the video stuff based on the Twilight Zone that was awesome, but the ride itself i hate. I just hate all rides where you drop down, not because i'm scared of heights like most people who dislike them are. I loved the view we went on it at night so could see the whole park lit up was beautiful. But yeah i just really don't like the feeling you get when it drops. Oh yeah in the queue for the roller coaster there was this guy with the most unique moustache i have ever seen. It was just a gray thin line... Like just skimming the top of his lip and no higher, it doesn't grow to the nose like normal moustaches, it doesn't even grow past 1cm nay 1mm it was that thin. Not much else to say it was just... Wow. Anyway they have opened up a new Toy Story section and it is amazing. There's fences going around it made to look like K'Nex and the benches were the wooden train tracks was sweeeet. That's about it i think, oh actually there was this cinema showing like the magic of movies or whatever. It started just showing clips from old black and white movies then they had a guy use his phone in the audience and run up on stage so the characters in the movie tried to punch him through the screen then he got magicked into the movie, so it went though movie years showing different clips but with him editing into them and making this story of a girl chasing him through them all. But like when he was in a western, there was cowboys trying to shoot him and was lights and smoke going off on the stage and when he in Titanic there was water spraying on the crowd then at one point he was in Camelot so a knight used a magic sword to rip open hole in the screen which the actor steeped out of with loads of smoke going around and then later he went back in a door. It was the most extreme breaking of the fourth wall ever conceived.
Le Final Day
Nothing of note happened in the parks just re-went on rides etc. before had to leave. However we then went to get a meal at Planet Hollywood. I loved it there, all restaurants should be decorated with film memorabilia. However twas' not an ordinary meal, for there was a special lady that will remain in my mind for quite a while. No i didn't get off with a random chick (though she wasn't half bad looking but that's besides the point.) Nay we was served by the greatest waitress ever, for some reason she was english and decided to move to france then get a waitress job in disneyland but whatever. Anyway i digress it's just what she said that made it hilarious. When she came over we said hi and she was all like "Oh thank god english people, i thought you had all gone home am getting tired of saying bonjour" she was amazing. However got better, my lil brother got a Kinder Egg that was dented or something so as handing it over she said "Here's your Kinder Egg thats... Shite! Oh pardon my french." Now normally that wouldn't be that funny but i just found the irony of practically calling the french language shite while working in france. It was just hilarious i love her xD. We gave her a tip just for that. Anyway after that we just drove through Paris saw the Eiffel Tower in "tesla coil" mode as Total Biscuit describes. And the Arc de Triumph's roundabout is fucking hilarious. I saw 2 or 3 crashes in the few minutes or so we drove on it, it was amusing.
Anyway this happened over a week ago and now its even gone past christmas... But yeah been busy Belated merry christmas everybody. And happy hearths warming every pony for the bronies. Anyway i'm going back to student house tomorrow... And then i'm off on a road trip with mates to wales for like 5 days busy month tis awesome. Buh bye
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