Bonjour! Omelette du fromage? Foux du fafa? *Wilhelm Scream* Urgh what happened there... Yeah i'm not gonna do that retarded introduction cliché again. I feel dirty... But anyway i've been on holiday to le Disneyland in parà for 3 days.
Day 0
Yeah imma formatting this like a diary fuck you. So dear Mickey Mouse on the saturday waking up at 5AM fucking sucks. However the trip wasn't that bad, though the coach drivers have no understanding of how to use a dvd player. I saw the beginning of "Water Horse" like 5 times. Also we had to change coaches on to a bigger one but the stoopid driver didn't mention that to us, so we was all just sat there with everyone else unpacking like... "Guys, are... Are we getting off?" it was amusing. Oh and then i pissed everybody off cus when we changed coaches was in a hurry when figured it out everyone else was already un-packed, so in our haste i forgot to pick up my little brothers coat and left it on the other coach. Luckily he noticed this... When our new coach starts to depart... So i had to go downstairs and get them to stop so i could run to the other one and get it so sulked on saying sorry with everyone giving me the evils. Good times. The coach had an immense playlist though, normally the music choice on coaches is rubbish but this didn't have a single bad song. In fact all in a row it played "The Power of Love", "Ghostbusters", "Maniac", the song from beverly hills cop (i don't know the name, i know be disappointed in me) and then "Highway to the Danger Zone". Twas jizz worthy, later it also played "Oh Yeah" (le ferris buller / duffman theme song), "Eye of the Tiger" and one of my favourite songs because i should have been born in the 80's father fucking "Footloose"! Anyway then we got to the ferry so i naturally shouted i'm the king of the world with my arms out watching the sun set on the ocean. Was rather beautiful, oh and there was also a group of these people who just sat down "playing" an acoustic guitar. I use the term "playing" very very loosely, as they just strummed (in no real rhythm) random chords. But yeah that was the trip leaving britain. Then upon arrival everything was chaotic and disorganised so it took forever to get they key cards to the rooms and then they didn't work for one of our rooms... So yeah good start!
Day 1
That was a lot of writing for a trip... Meh anyway the first day! So first we went to space mountain which my little brother couldn't go on cus he wasn't tall enough but then in the other park he could go on a faster roller coaster with more loops... Wut. Then we went on a carousel which i picked the small pony with pink ribbons to ride on making Pinkie Pie quotes... Anyway then we went to the Alice in Wonderland maze thing in which i was just being really giddy, then the people who dress up as characters were outside as Alice who was like in her 30's... Any-who yeah we then went to le Indiana Jones (Temple du Peril in french) ride and in front of us the queue who dressed like one of the nazi's in a long black coat with shirt on. He was taking pictures of all the Indie props along the way. But he was also just slamming his fist into his palm over and over for no real reason, it was a little intimidating. Also french people make me shit myself. There was this kid in a wheelchair who was perfectly still who i naturally assumed was handicapped. Then as the wheelchair got close to me the fucker lept out of it then casually started walking normally. I got some huge fucking air.
Day 2
Not a lot interesting happened second day to be honest we went on roller coaster that my brother couldn't go on that i mentioned before. We also went on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror. I loved the aesthetic's and the video stuff based on the Twilight Zone that was awesome, but the ride itself i hate. I just hate all rides where you drop down, not because i'm scared of heights like most people who dislike them are. I loved the view we went on it at night so could see the whole park lit up was beautiful. But yeah i just really don't like the feeling you get when it drops. Oh yeah in the queue for the roller coaster there was this guy with the most unique moustache i have ever seen. It was just a gray thin line... Like just skimming the top of his lip and no higher, it doesn't grow to the nose like normal moustaches, it doesn't even grow past 1cm nay 1mm it was that thin. Not much else to say it was just... Wow. Anyway they have opened up a new Toy Story section and it is amazing. There's fences going around it made to look like K'Nex and the benches were the wooden train tracks was sweeeet. That's about it i think, oh actually there was this cinema showing like the magic of movies or whatever. It started just showing clips from old black and white movies then they had a guy use his phone in the audience and run up on stage so the characters in the movie tried to punch him through the screen then he got magicked into the movie, so it went though movie years showing different clips but with him editing into them and making this story of a girl chasing him through them all. But like when he was in a western, there was cowboys trying to shoot him and was lights and smoke going off on the stage and when he in Titanic there was water spraying on the crowd then at one point he was in Camelot so a knight used a magic sword to rip open hole in the screen which the actor steeped out of with loads of smoke going around and then later he went back in a door. It was the most extreme breaking of the fourth wall ever conceived.
Le Final Day
Nothing of note happened in the parks just re-went on rides etc. before had to leave. However we then went to get a meal at Planet Hollywood. I loved it there, all restaurants should be decorated with film memorabilia. However twas' not an ordinary meal, for there was a special lady that will remain in my mind for quite a while. No i didn't get off with a random chick (though she wasn't half bad looking but that's besides the point.) Nay we was served by the greatest waitress ever, for some reason she was english and decided to move to france then get a waitress job in disneyland but whatever. Anyway i digress it's just what she said that made it hilarious. When she came over we said hi and she was all like "Oh thank god english people, i thought you had all gone home am getting tired of saying bonjour" she was amazing. However got better, my lil brother got a Kinder Egg that was dented or something so as handing it over she said "Here's your Kinder Egg thats... Shite! Oh pardon my french." Now normally that wouldn't be that funny but i just found the irony of practically calling the french language shite while working in france. It was just hilarious i love her xD. We gave her a tip just for that. Anyway after that we just drove through Paris saw the Eiffel Tower in "tesla coil" mode as Total Biscuit describes. And the Arc de Triumph's roundabout is fucking hilarious. I saw 2 or 3 crashes in the few minutes or so we drove on it, it was amusing.
Anyway this happened over a week ago and now its even gone past christmas... But yeah been busy Belated merry christmas everybody. And happy hearths warming every pony for the bronies. Anyway i'm going back to student house tomorrow... And then i'm off on a road trip with mates to wales for like 5 days busy month tis awesome. Buh bye
Tuesday, December 27
Friday, December 9
Bloody Fingered Hobgoblins!
Yeah... You read that right... Hobgoblins... That have bloody fingers... They gonna snatch you up! Seriously theres a huge underground city of hobgoblins in the bloody finger clan (The most vicious of Hobgoblin clans). They sneak out at sunrise and steal cheese.
Anyway tis nearly christmas yay. Except i haven't bought any presents and have one week to do so. Boo. Also it doesn't feel like christmas time, i mean sure we have a christmas tree and the streets are filled with decorations but theres no snow. I dislike being cold, like most people, but winter is still my faveorite time of year its full of holidays the years coming to a close if its been a good year then can be happy that has been awesome and if its a shit year can be happy that its coming to a close tis win win. Also christmas is best day of the year, don't argue it is. Followed by new years eve, in my opinion, but thats mainly cus every new years eve for me has been immense. However best part of winter is the snow, i know a lot of people hate it (though i think they mainly just hate the cold it brings), but i adore it so much, for me it's the greatest part of mother nature. A: It makes everything look beautiful, i went on holiday two years ago to log cabin in the forest, the day we set off was the day the like 3 month blizzard started and seeing the forest around it staying in a cabin with fire is just magical. Also i had a snowball fight in a hottub... Not alot of people can say that. On that note B: It is so much fun! Snowball fights, snowmen, sledging, ice skating etc etc... I just love every part of it. Yet there is a distinct lack of it this year, the last 2 years it had snowed for months on end and now theres no sign it sucks.
Another thing about it not feeling like winter is the fact that i've never done so much work in my life than these last few weeks. Especially this one. I made the right choice in choosing to do film its amazing but this week i've filmed 3 days ,made 2 rough edits, finalized a 10 minute script, started a couple of evaluations and i need to film more tommorow. Admittidly should have planned this so much better and started in advance so only got myself to blame, though mentioning that i'm not even the worst off in the class. However i'm rather proud of my editing skills, specificly a psychodellic dream sequence featureing 3 of the same person sat next to each other and then transporting to several places. Gonna be awesome.
Oh the Hobgoblin thing there was acctualy relation behind that but i went off talking about winter and my mad editing skillz. Yeah, it's amazing when those little points in life when someone will say make an excuse for why something happens that is completly fansical, but then everybody else in the conversation just rolls with it and end up making up some epic fantasy story. For example me and Luke were watching Adventure Time *Epic Bro Fist* and Joel heard that it was on mid-way through cooking pasta so he walked into living room holding some bolognase sauce. So we was like "Yo wat up wit tha bolognase", though more civilized and not retarted chav speak. So yeah he said "Just in case, its good for defence" to which i replied "Ah good thinking, theres dangeous creatures out in the wilderness" "Indeed, i heard there was a gang of Hobgoblins patrolling around so never leave without the sauce" "Ahh, good thinking everyone knows there allergic to bolgonase, just be be like SMASH and the fuckers will be running scared". Good times, there great moments in life. Hmmm. The bloody finger cheese stealing thing you ask?
Well i just thought would add that for dramatic effect, however it came from earlier today i was grating some cheese and like the clumsy coon i am, somehow managed to grate my finger. It didn't hurt so i continued, after i had finished looked at the block of cheese and saw my blood painting the side of it. However there is no cut or blood anywhere on my finger, hand or rest of my body so i got so confused as to how it got on the cheese. Thats about it i'm just retarded at times. BUH BYE
Anyway tis nearly christmas yay. Except i haven't bought any presents and have one week to do so. Boo. Also it doesn't feel like christmas time, i mean sure we have a christmas tree and the streets are filled with decorations but theres no snow. I dislike being cold, like most people, but winter is still my faveorite time of year its full of holidays the years coming to a close if its been a good year then can be happy that has been awesome and if its a shit year can be happy that its coming to a close tis win win. Also christmas is best day of the year, don't argue it is. Followed by new years eve, in my opinion, but thats mainly cus every new years eve for me has been immense. However best part of winter is the snow, i know a lot of people hate it (though i think they mainly just hate the cold it brings), but i adore it so much, for me it's the greatest part of mother nature. A: It makes everything look beautiful, i went on holiday two years ago to log cabin in the forest, the day we set off was the day the like 3 month blizzard started and seeing the forest around it staying in a cabin with fire is just magical. Also i had a snowball fight in a hottub... Not alot of people can say that. On that note B: It is so much fun! Snowball fights, snowmen, sledging, ice skating etc etc... I just love every part of it. Yet there is a distinct lack of it this year, the last 2 years it had snowed for months on end and now theres no sign it sucks.
Another thing about it not feeling like winter is the fact that i've never done so much work in my life than these last few weeks. Especially this one. I made the right choice in choosing to do film its amazing but this week i've filmed 3 days ,made 2 rough edits, finalized a 10 minute script, started a couple of evaluations and i need to film more tommorow. Admittidly should have planned this so much better and started in advance so only got myself to blame, though mentioning that i'm not even the worst off in the class. However i'm rather proud of my editing skills, specificly a psychodellic dream sequence featureing 3 of the same person sat next to each other and then transporting to several places. Gonna be awesome.
Oh the Hobgoblin thing there was acctualy relation behind that but i went off talking about winter and my mad editing skillz. Yeah, it's amazing when those little points in life when someone will say make an excuse for why something happens that is completly fansical, but then everybody else in the conversation just rolls with it and end up making up some epic fantasy story. For example me and Luke were watching Adventure Time *Epic Bro Fist* and Joel heard that it was on mid-way through cooking pasta so he walked into living room holding some bolognase sauce. So we was like "Yo wat up wit tha bolognase", though more civilized and not retarted chav speak. So yeah he said "Just in case, its good for defence" to which i replied "Ah good thinking, theres dangeous creatures out in the wilderness" "Indeed, i heard there was a gang of Hobgoblins patrolling around so never leave without the sauce" "Ahh, good thinking everyone knows there allergic to bolgonase, just be be like SMASH and the fuckers will be running scared". Good times, there great moments in life. Hmmm. The bloody finger cheese stealing thing you ask?
Well i just thought would add that for dramatic effect, however it came from earlier today i was grating some cheese and like the clumsy coon i am, somehow managed to grate my finger. It didn't hurt so i continued, after i had finished looked at the block of cheese and saw my blood painting the side of it. However there is no cut or blood anywhere on my finger, hand or rest of my body so i got so confused as to how it got on the cheese. Thats about it i'm just retarded at times. BUH BYE
Thursday, December 1
The Great Carvery of 11/11
To quote 500 Days of Summer "Most days of the year are unremarkable. They begin, and they end, with no lasting memories made in between. Most days have no impact on the course of a life." Which is very true, but every now and then something happens that you know will create a story to reminisce on later on in your life, and will bond the people involved (Or you know if its a bad thing like splitting up with a girlfreind quite the opposite.) This is one of those stories... Its also probably one of those "You had to be there moments" as they quite often are, so its gonna be way funnier for me than people reading.
So we were hungry and random decided to go get a carvery from down the road, kingsize, with a few alcoholic beverages twas pretty awesome. You know like i said last time had meal that there were loads of people having dinner on their own, well there was another at the carvery place sat in the corner a few tables away from us. Lets just say she left in an annoyed huff after she had eaten... Primarily due to me. Shouting POPPAY! (It's an inside joke, i don't understand how we started saying it or why so no point explaining). Anyway, as a lot of these memorable stories do, the best part involved a drunkard.
So we had finished le meal and were just chatting and finishing drinks when suddenly a wild retard appears. So this drunk off his face idiot randomly comes over and starts saying "I'm hardcore, i'm bad through i could knock out every single one of you lads i been in prison you know got ass raped you know what i mean?" Then he walked off, so we was just awkwardly sat there, really confused as to what had happened. Also i love how he said know what i mean? As though we looked like had been in prison and ass raped someone/been ass raped. Anyway before we could revoer he came back saying how badass he is but then said "you're good guys i like you keep safe" then switched back to being like "i could kill you in the parking lot" and then he just constantly kept changing like "your good guys i'm going to kill you but i like you". At this point we was all just trying not to burst out laughing, but the comedian of our group couldn't help himself any longer so the drunkard said "i'll punch you into tomorow" to which my freind Marc casually turned to him and said "I certainlly hope you don't. I've got things want to do tonight" at that point we all just started pissing ourselves with laughter, then about 10 seconds after (i don't think he understood what was happening) the drunkard started laughing with us and walked off again saying hes gonna get some food and calling us good lads once more.
So we finished our drinks and he came back one final time, proceeded with the normal hes hardcore gonna kill us but he really loves us routine till he got to a quote of pure hilarious stupidity that will place the night in our minds forever. Bear in mind that this was a carvery restraunt you go to the bar buy a ticket and then go and get the food yourself. He said "the service here is shit isn't it i've been waiting half an hour and aint got food yet" as if that wasn't stupid enough after we had explained that he had to go get it himself he said the greatest insult that could be a compliment if he was smart ever. He said "they have knobs as big as their tounges" its just wow. He obviously meant it as an insult to say they have small dicks, but he doesn't know (i'm just assuming here admitidly but some how i highly doubt it) that your tounge goes all the way to the bottom of the throat and was actually a compliment.
So we were hungry and random decided to go get a carvery from down the road, kingsize, with a few alcoholic beverages twas pretty awesome. You know like i said last time had meal that there were loads of people having dinner on their own, well there was another at the carvery place sat in the corner a few tables away from us. Lets just say she left in an annoyed huff after she had eaten... Primarily due to me. Shouting POPPAY! (It's an inside joke, i don't understand how we started saying it or why so no point explaining). Anyway, as a lot of these memorable stories do, the best part involved a drunkard.
So we had finished le meal and were just chatting and finishing drinks when suddenly a wild retard appears. So this drunk off his face idiot randomly comes over and starts saying "I'm hardcore, i'm bad through i could knock out every single one of you lads i been in prison you know got ass raped you know what i mean?" Then he walked off, so we was just awkwardly sat there, really confused as to what had happened. Also i love how he said know what i mean? As though we looked like had been in prison and ass raped someone/been ass raped. Anyway before we could revoer he came back saying how badass he is but then said "you're good guys i like you keep safe" then switched back to being like "i could kill you in the parking lot" and then he just constantly kept changing like "your good guys i'm going to kill you but i like you". At this point we was all just trying not to burst out laughing, but the comedian of our group couldn't help himself any longer so the drunkard said "i'll punch you into tomorow" to which my freind Marc casually turned to him and said "I certainlly hope you don't. I've got things want to do tonight" at that point we all just started pissing ourselves with laughter, then about 10 seconds after (i don't think he understood what was happening) the drunkard started laughing with us and walked off again saying hes gonna get some food and calling us good lads once more.
So we finished our drinks and he came back one final time, proceeded with the normal hes hardcore gonna kill us but he really loves us routine till he got to a quote of pure hilarious stupidity that will place the night in our minds forever. Bear in mind that this was a carvery restraunt you go to the bar buy a ticket and then go and get the food yourself. He said "the service here is shit isn't it i've been waiting half an hour and aint got food yet" as if that wasn't stupid enough after we had explained that he had to go get it himself he said the greatest insult that could be a compliment if he was smart ever. He said "they have knobs as big as their tounges" its just wow. He obviously meant it as an insult to say they have small dicks, but he doesn't know (i'm just assuming here admitidly but some how i highly doubt it) that your tounge goes all the way to the bottom of the throat and was actually a compliment.
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